One of the most important needs for us as human beings is that we have a strong sense of belonging.
Before you get bored and think that this is another one of those boring psychology articles – I invite you to stop, ground, centre and look within yourself. Ask yourself the question, ‘Do I belong here?’ ‘How safe and secure do I feel?’ – OK. So what is the answer that comes back to you from your deep inner senses of your body. You may feel surprised at the answer – perhaps you feel a little shaky, maybe you don’t feel safe all the time? Perhaps you do feel disconnected and distant from others at times?
We all have times in our lives when we feel less connected and with a lack of belonging. This might be caused by emotional trauma in our lives, loss, bereavement, or when we leave home – or find ourselves in jobs or situations that are overwhelming in some way. We have a primal need for ‘belonging’. This need emerges from the base of the brain, part of our animal/chimp brain. It comes from a primal urge for survival.
Human beings are social animals. Historically we have lived in tribes and clans. Community is very important to us and the need to feel as though we belong there, that we are safe in our surroundings and with the people we live with is a primary foundation for survival itself. We need to feel appreciated for who we are too and that what we do and who we are is accepted by others. How does this help us understand our personal archetypes?
In my examinations of archetypes there seems to be four very prominent energetic needs behind the main 12 archetypical personalities. The sense of ‘belonging’ seems to be an underlying thread for the archetypes The Lover, The Everyman and the Joker/Jester.
Just to clarify a few points on archetypes. When we look at the personalities of archetypes we are not just one of them – we all have many different aspects and archetypes which make up our own beautiful divine selves. We do not have to feel ‘less than’ for any reason when looking at our archetype – its just the way we are and its a key to understanding the way we tick, understanding ourselves better and really accepting the way we truly are. When we can accept ourselves and honour who we truly are, we are better able to deal with the knocks of life and remain grounded and centred. We can better forgive ourselves for what we may see as ‘shortcomings and faults’. So lets look at some of these archetypes briefly which really embrace/need that sense of belonging.
The Everyman – The greatest aim of this archetype is connecting with others and feeling a sense of belonging. The worst case scenario for this type is to feel as though they’re an outsider, not included or somehow ‘different’ to everyone else. There must be a sense of unity and belonging to draw strength from and nourish the sense of self. These people are driven by being down to earth, not being outrageous or standing out from the crowd, ordinary values and virtues. This type thrives on being a realist and not having any pretence of themselves or any situation.
The Jester/Joker – As a contrast to the above archetype. This person’s aim is to have fun at all times in order to feel safe and have a sense of belonging. They want to be appreciated for their humour constantly and their worst case scenario would be to be viewed as boring and not the centre of everyone’s source of fun and good time humour. They want to make the world a better lighter more happy place and feel appreciated for that. Again, the worst case would be to not be laughed at, that their jokes are not funny and they are not invited to the party!
The Lover – This archetype thrives on being loved, feeling loved. They are driven by intimacy and contact with others. The aim is to constantly be more attractive to other people and liked/loved by people. The worst case scenario would be to feel outcast, unloved, abandoned. They may lose their true self identity through trying to be attractive to others in the extreme and not being who they truly are for themselves. These types are very passionate and committed to feel love, gratitude and appreciated.
You may see a little of yourself in all of the above! The archetype really comes into itself when we recognise an overwhelming sense of belief in the reality the archetype thrives upon. Or more importantly, the greatest fear. What you are driven by. In the above cases, being ordinary, being funny and embodying love.
We all have a need to feel as though we belong. In the above archetypes we can see how that sense of belonging underlies and drives the personality. How does this knowledge help us? In order to have a strong sense of belonging we need to make sure that we pay attention to what we need for ourselves. We need to take care of the little things in life, our favourite colour may be deep magenta or bright pink – this colour connects us to the divine source, Goddess, God. We connect to the divine energy within us and we feel safe. Or perhaps its the opposite, olive green. In the olive we find hope and a sense of direction towards the garden of the heart, the delights in living.
The Yin energy is very important for these archetypes also. We need to feel very connected to the Earth energy at all times. Un-groundedness creates a lack of safety, feeling detached, aloof and unstable. Going for walks and connecting to nature is a must in order to stay balanced and in harmony with self and the world.
I shall write more about the archetypes from an energy point of view in the coming weeks. Looking at archetypes is part of the work I’m doing as Your Personal Guru. If you would like to learn more about yourself and would like a guiding light to help you through the troughs and pitfall of life right now – ask me for a FREE 30 minute one to one clarity call.
Blessings and love,